My Thoughts, I Confess
by 88silverkeys
Summary: Challenge: Ten song-inspired moments in the relationship between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. The good and the bad and all in between. SLASH SBRL. Rated M to be safe.


**Challenge**:  
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
2. Turn your music player on and turn it on random/shuffle.  
3. Write a drabble/ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!  
4. Do ten of these, then post them.

Pairing: Sirius/Remus

_1) Lies, McFly (3:46)_

"_Shut up! I don't believe you."_

"_No, Remus, please. I didn't mean for Snape to find out, you know that's the last thing I'd want. Come on…"_

"_He found out. Are you really trying to tell me that he was clever enough to put everything together on his own?"_

"_No, I mean, I told him some stuff. I mentioned the Willow, I didn't ever think the git would do anything about it. Please, believe me!"_

"_No."_

"…_What?"_

"_No, I can't believe you. You told him, you wanted him to hurt. You didn't think—never do. I don't even want to know your _truths_ anymore. Stop lying, stop pretending you are on my side."_

"…"

"_Right, I've got to get to sleep and you've got to get new friends to trust your lies. Good luck to both of us. Get the fuck out, Sirius."_

**2) Losing Touch, The Killers (4:18)**

**Remus came back to the dorm to find Sirius crying. Crying in the sense that he was sniveling and furiously coughing to hide it. There was a letter sitting on his lap, crumbled and the ink was smeared with tears. **

"**Sirius?" He whispered tentatively. Sirius thrust the letter out to him. Remus dutifully read it. **

"**My parents think I've sold my soul. They think I'm losing touch with reality and they want nothing to do with me. I can't go home again."**

"…**But why?" Remus could barely wrap his head around it.**

"**Regulus saw us last week," Sirius paused, "making out on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. I shouldn't care what he told them, I don't worry about what they think…I just…it's a lot."**

**Remus nodded slowly and sat down next to the boy he'd accidentally kissed—only once—and wrapped his arm silently around his shaking shoulders.**

_3) Better In Time, Leona Lewis (3:55)_

_Remus stood in the wreckage. Lily and James were murdered, Harry had disappeared into the guardianship of his Muggle family, Peter was betrayed. And Sirius. Sirius had caused it all, the only man Remus had ever properly wanted to love, ever trusted. Crazy and laughing the whole way after killing Peter, their best friend. _

_Recovery wasn't exactly an option at this point. Remus glanced down at a shard of glass on the floor of what was once the Potters' house. He wanted to stab himself, he wanted it to hurt. Dumbuldore had smiled at him with pain etched into every line on his face, and whispered "Time heals everything. It will hurt, but it will all heal."_

_What did that even mean? That one day he wouldn't hurt at remembering losing everything he'd ever had? Remus never wanted to live to that day—a day where he didn't desperately need everyone he loved. He didn't want to have to heal and move on. Talk about betrayal._

**4) When They Came For Us, Shiny Toy Guns (4:27)**

**Sirius lay in bed, next to a sleeping Remus. The children were all back at school, it was supposed to be the safest place for them to go. Sirius wanted to believe Dumbuldore, but when the Ministry guards came to take Harry it hurt more than anything. **

**He'd lost so much, for so long. He had forgotten what it was like to love. Looking at Remus hurt, remembering the times before when Remus thought he'd murdered their best friends. Stuck with memories swirling in his head about the good times with Remus and how so many of those moments now blurred—the Dementors had taken them. **

**Sirius remembered everything bad, remembered Lily's dead face. Remembered telling Harry that James was just sleeping, cooing the little baby back to sleep. Remembered the fear in Remus's eyes when he saw him again at the Shack. It was so tiring and it hurt so bad.**

**Sirius resolved to erase it, he rolled over and kissed Remus's neck. The other man started to stir. The kids were gone, the good times were gone, but Sirius was determined to make something good out of his time with Remus. And the whole night was.**

_5) No Place Like London, Sweeny Todd Soundtrack (5:36)_

_Remus and Sirius spent the entire afternoon on the streets of London. Laughing to themselves at all the tourists with their Muggle cameras. Sirius, of course, couldn't wait to get back to the hotel. He was young, just out of Hogwarts last week, he was running on a high like no one else. _

_He pulled Remus into an alley. Pushed him against the wall and kissed him brutally. Hands skimming under his boyfriend's shirt. Remus began to respond, bringing his own hands into Sirius's hair because although neither one commented on it, Remus grabbing Sirius's hair did a lot for both of them. _

"_I love you, you know that?" Sirius whispered against Remus's ear. He felt more than heard the chuckle._

"_I'd guessed it by the fact that told you I loved you and you didn't run screaming like a bloody coward." Another kiss. "But this event has to be relocated to our rooms, you know this is going to turn into something…it always does, Padfoot."_

"_Oy! Fags, get out of my street, you fucking stupid mistakes!" Hearing the yells from the way they'd come, both ran in the other direction, Remus rather worried that the angry barber was following them. _

_Sirius smirked, "Don't listen to him, Moony. The Muggles of London are full of shit. The only thing we are 'fucking' is each other."_

**6) Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex, CSS (3:07)**

**Sirius had finally convinced Remus to come to the clubs with him. It was summer, they were both staying at James's place. They needed a night to themselves and Sirius wanted to dance. **

**Swaying to the beat, Sirius was completely one with the music. Remus envied him. He'd never picked up that kind of rhythm but watching Sirius was almost as good. He saw Sirius move closer, reach out and grab his hands, drag him onto the dancefloor. **

"**Come on, Remus, listen to the music. Doesn't it just make you want to live??" Sirius shouted in his ear as they followed suit with the other couples and brought their groins closer. Sirius silently mouthed his boyfriend's neck. "This is the best stuff in the world, I want to share it with you."**

_7) Come on, Eileen (4:47)_

_The wind was blowing like crazy, whipping Remus's hair into his face. Sirius thought it looked beautiful. What had started as a walk across the grounds to help Sirius cool off from getting another detention (and to keep him away from innocent students who he'd surely send flying) had turned into a meandering philosophical discussion. _

_Sirius kept looking over at his friend. God, Remus was gorgeous today. His robe was flying out behind him, it looked like some kind of cape. Sirius told him so, and Remus laughed. That laugh was wonderful. Sirius noticed that Remus was wearing one of James's ties. Remus only owned the scarlet ones, but his weren't clean. The golden ties of Gryfindor were perfect on him. It brought out the flecks of gold in his eyes that Sirius pretended didn't turn him on. Made more obvious the highlights in the hair that Sirius daydreamed about. _

_Remus was just too beautiful today. They'd been talking, it was wonderful…maybe he should try. Remus put up with all his shit, why wouldn't he put up with a kiss?_

_So Sirius kissed him quickly and pulled back. Remus's eyes widened, but he didn't move. So Sirius did it again and this time Remus kissed back slowly. Sirius loved it._

**8) Party Up, Hilary Duff (3:52)**

**Sirius took a drag on the joint, choking on it as he laughed mid-inhale. "That's the best, Jamie!"**

**Remus sat there nervously, he didn't exactly want to be doing drugs. In fact, he was rather opposed. They could get caught. But if Lily was sitting here with them…well, who would stop them if the Head Girl wasn't going to?**

**Speaking of Lily, stood slowly and twisted the joint in her fingers in a seductive manner. "Come on, Potter. Light me up."**

**James scrambled after her out of the room. Sirius turned to face Remus, completely high beyond belief, and grinned. "We're alone now. I say we make this party more interesting."**

**And as Remus lay there getting an oddly good blowjob from a guy who couldn't even remember his own middle name right now, he thought drugs were okay if they brought out these new skills.**

_9) Black Coffee, Ella Fitzgerald (3:30)_

"_I hate mornings." Remus groaned. "I've decided I shouldn't have studied so much at Hogwarts—then I wouldn't have a job."_

"_I know, but you have to make money for your little wifey." Sirius prodded him slowly. Sirius, the bastard, was already dressed and outside the bed. "I've got something for you."_

_Remus peered out of the covers suspiciously, "What then?"_

"_Freshly-brewed coffee, that's what…which you'll get when you are out of bed."_

_Remus dragged himself slowly out of the warmth of the blankets, "I'm depressed about the mornings."_

_Sirius dutifully handed him the coffee. "Why?"_

_Remus took a sip and finally smiled for the first time that morning. "Because I have to spend the day away from you…and your perfect coffee."_

**10) One Dozen Roses, Harry James (3:01)**

**Sirius got back from classes. February was easily one of the longest months. He didn't care if the calendar lied and said it was short, the weather and limited sun stretched it out. **

**Back in the dorm he dumped all his books on the floor. Why would anyone make classes at night? James was assuredly at practice, he didn't have to go to class over Quidditch. It was Thursday, so Peter was at that stupid tutoring lesson he needed. That was why the room was so quiet, but where was Remus?**

"**So…Happy Valentine's Day." Sirius's twisted his neck quickly—almost painfully—to see Remus sitting on Sirius's bed with a bouquet of roses. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do for this holiday with you, I don't even know what we are, but I was thinking about you today during class and I just wanted to do something. I made these, it was probably stupid, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to—"**

**He couldn't finish explaining the roses with another tongue in his mouth. **

_**A/N: So this is so much harder to write than I thought, but it was fun. It seems like each song will give you plenty of time for writing…but I always forget that I have to think of the plot for about half the song. Let me know which was your favorite, I'm thinking of trying this again with other pairings or fandoms!!**_


End file.
